Slow Down Time

Ok,
So I was praying last night and I began to look over my life. I realised that I rush through everything I do. I rush to work, I rush home, I rush through lunch, I rush to church. I'm just always rushing. It's like I'm in a race. I finally slowed down last night and prayed. Like really prayed. I have been saved now for about two months. I pray all the time, but I have only sat down and totally stopped running long enough to just talk to God a couple of times. I mean I worship him on Sunday at church, while I'm driving I pray quick little prayers, when I'm listening to the radio I sing to him, and when I am at work and before I go to bed I pray for the things that are fighting me in my life or I pray for the problems that I have. But I hardly just sit back and stop and just have a conversation with God. More than prayer. Actually just sitting back and saying, "Ok God, Let's talk". I did that last night.
The past two weeks I have been at a stand still with God. I don't feel him as strongly as I did when I first really gave my life to him. I have had a tearing at my heart about this. I know that God is still there of course. He's always there, but I don't feel as close. I think that that is because many times we let the "race" that we are running, called life, get in the way of our relationship with God. Just like with any other relationship, if we do not take time out of our busy schedule to build them, they fall apart and we loose the connection that we used to have. It's the same with God. Back to my "revelation" last night lol. I stopped. I kept trying to read a book and I just couldn't get into it. I tried and tried but I just felt like there was something else I needed to do. I knew what it was. So I started to pray. As I prayed I began to just talk to God. This was just a catch up conversation. I didn't list off my problems or my fears or worries. I just talked to God. Told him how I felt about our relationship. How I felt distant from him now and that I don't want to give up and loose Him. I just kept praying and praying and then God "spoke" to me. I realised that with all the running I have been doing, I haven't stopped long enough just to love on Him. To just sit back and listen to Him. To admire all that he is doing for me. I have been to focused on running. To focused living the right "Christian" life, focused on my job, my friends, my goals, and school. I haven't been focusing on what He really wants. Just what I think he wants. So last night, I prayed," God, help me to slow down. Help me to do things in your time. Not my'n'. Help me to stop assuming what you want and help me to listen to know what you actually want." This has always been a problem with me. I rush things. I have to get things done and get them done now. I have very little patience. I know God has been working on me with this, but this problem is what makes me fall. I rush because I want to be who I am suppose to be. I build up my life the way I think it should be. But if you look back at that sentence, you'll notice I said I. That's the problem. I'm running at my speed. What I think is best, what I think is suppose to happen. All of this because I will not slow down and let God fix me. I won't stop and let God make my life. I feel he's doing it to slow so I try to speed it up and end up falling. This time I'm going to try my best not to do this. I am going to have to sit back and let God take control and follow his timing. Follow what he wants me to become. My problem is that I don't sit back long enough to listen to God's solutions and God's plans. I let everything else get in the way. We need to start taking more time out in our life and reflect on how it's going. Is it really, truly, going in God's direction, or are we getting lazy and just doing it our way to hurry and get it done. God's ways aren't always easy, but in the end, all the work is worth it. The outcome is also A Lot greater when we do it his way. So I'm going to start praying that God takes control of my life. That I have more patience and wait on his timing and pray that I live the life and become the person that the originally had planned for me. So that in the end, I don't look back and see all the missed steps. The steps that I should have taken and that would have been better it I had only waited a little longer and listened to God.